Listen to your heart

How often have we heard someone say, “Listen to your heart son, you’ll be OK”. I think that advice may mean that one should listen to one’s intuition or the voice of the soul in any situation, where a decision is required. Majority of us take this route (including myself) when we take decisions, even important ones.

May be we think, if we listen to the voice of the soul and not the head, it is morally right. We think that showing empathy to your opponent is the right thing to do. We comfort ourselves that it will reward us financially too in the long run (because we are empathetic?). Or we presume that we are wicked or selfish or seen as being a manipulative person if we pay heed to our head in negotiating a deal. Or is it plain laziness that we don’t do our homework before negotiating a deal?


Later we justify that our decision was based on what our heart said at the exact moment we signed the deal. It couldn’t have been any other way. We feel comfortable with that deal until someone points out that they got the same deal on much more favorable terms. As a buyer, as well as seller of goods and services, I can relate to this discussion in a meaningful way. Let me give you one example from personal experience as a buyer.

Last year I helped my son, buy a cell phone with cool features from a dealer with the services being provided by a leading service provider. You bet, we did our homework before finalizing the deal. We looked at several cell phones from different manufacturers (in terms of features and specifications), read user reviews of many and finally narrowed it down to just the one that we are interested in. Similarly we listened to many existing users of the service provider and its competitors before deciding to go with the one we chose. We also noted down the standard monthly fees charged by the service provider for a set of calling features we are interested in. Finally we decided to go ahead with this particular dealer for the cell phone as well as the service because he offered a monthly fee that was below the market rate.

So far so good. Our heads ruled our decision. But our hearts took over when the dealer said that, while our monthly fees would not change if we sign a two year or three year contract, it would greatly help him gain a concession from the service provider if we signed a three year contract. Will we do him the favor? Apparently it was a guileless request. For a moment, we felt powerful and the dealer was at our mercy.

What did we do? Of course we obliged.
Our justification:

• My son is going to be in the same city for at least another three years
• While it is not costing us extra, we get an opportunity to help another person.

But remember in “helping” this person we inadvertently extended the time horizon of the deal. Within the last one year of the three-year contract, so many changes can happen that may turn out to be favorable to us, the customers. We have no way of knowing those at the time we agree.

But for the dealer (as well as the service provider) it is definitely a better deal. Both have a better time view of the time horizon. They know their business. While we are only one of many customers to them, for another three years we are not shopping for another contract! The dealer knows how to pitch and must have practiced and perfected it as an art with very many customers (victims) before meeting us. For sure the service provider is rewarded with a steady payment for one extra year, and the dealer could have been rewarded instantly with some cash bonus.

Even if things remain the same, in hindsight I feel I should have been smart enough to restrict ourselves to a two-year contract and negotiate a better deal at the end of the contract period. Why not? After all we have proved ourselves to be loyal to them and we are going back to them for a repeat business.


Suppose we decide to sign the three-year contract anyway at least we should have gained a concession or two in agreeing for a three-year contract for it matters little to us to whether it is a two or three year contract. Looks like it was not a win-win situation. All because we let our heart rule.

My line of thinking is supported by a recent article in the Economist titled ‘Inside a deal’. I recommend you to read it, think it over and let me know your feedback.